The Five Things I Learned Last Week

After typing, reading and re-reading and scrutinizing myself a half million times, I realized this week's list seems to be mostly about women's view of things …. Sorry guys, but it's bi$c! week. Maybe next week I will write a “guys are jerks” week.

1) A Series of Failures – Sometimes, procrastination is good

Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Ever had one of those weeks where all little things that wouldn't normally bother you upsets you because they all add up? Yeah, that was pretty much most of last week for me. It didn't help that I really needed to create an inventory of career profiles for the upgraded website and I just couldn't find the desire to do so or find the appropriate information needed.

"Never do today with a bad attitude what you can put off 'til tomorrow with a great attitude".

Why produce shitty work when you know it's going to be shitty work? Instead, put it off to the side and work on it again in the next day or two. This way you have a fresh approach and a clearer mind to do what needs to be done.

2) Sometimes, "nice" is worse than direct rudeness / manipulation

Remember those popular kids in high school, how they radiated an aura that just made you want to watch them and know them? If you were popular, than you don't know. However, if you were the "weirdo" like me, than you understand what I'm talking about.

The "popular kid" charisma always seemed to dance about them and hover around them as if they sweated charisma. They always seemed to be able to take charge of situations, to lead and direct and it always looked fun and they looked fabulous doing it.

Than one day, for no apparent reason, one of the "popular kids" comes up to you. They're super nice and next thing you know, they wanna be around you, like all the time.

Here's a hint that adults continue to learn and relearn repeatedly and I learned last week. Do they only call or email you when they want something? If they do… "nice" is worse than direct rudeness and or manipulation.

The problem with confronting these types of people is that they probably do not even realize what their doing. It comes naturally… and if you blow up over something that may seem trivial to others it will make you look like your taking things out of proportion.

So where does that leave you? Learn to recognize it and if it becomes bad enough, dump em.

If you're the caller…. Being manipulative takes unnecessary effort; effort that can be better used elsewhere, stop it.

3) Stop Trying To Be Everything - Women Should Be / Women Can Be The rule can also apply to men, but this is written is the view of women.

We are the daughters of feminists who said, "You can be anything".

But we heard "You have to be everything."

Kamy Wicoff has introduced the "sandwich" generation theory, where many women were raised both with feminist expectations and independent ideals but in an impressionable and often conflicting patriarchy. Thus, we get the feminine training to be everything to everyone and feminism ends up getting used against us to make us tap dance even harder and all while questioning ourselves

• "What am I supposed to be?"
• 
  
• "Who should I be loyal to?"
• "What should I do?"

Here are the answers

• Be yourself
• Be loyal to yourself
• 
  
• Do what feels naturals.

Woman should do whatever feels natural to them. Don't let what a man (or a self conscious / self hating women) change what feels right to you.

I know that's easier said than done and I have no doubt that I will continue to fall from the literary proclamation self confident wagon at least a few dozen more times in my life. But it is a good place to return to when you find yourself asking these questions.

4) You Don't Always Need To Doubt Yourself - Always keep your mind open to new ideas and fresh outlooks, but don't let someone tell you, you don't know anything about a subject that you know a lot about. Aka I hate doctors.

This is a topic I've bitch about previously and I'm doing it again because I hated the specialist I saw on Friday. She's a conservative consedending 'know it all' that believes she knows more about my body and what's going on with it simply because she's an over educated medical Librarian. On Friday, I was wearing sweats and a tank top, which means most of my tattoos, were visible. Her very first question to me was:

"How long have you been smoking?"

What? I told her I don't smoke and haven't smoked for over five years.

She than ran her eyes along my body as if some disease would jump from my body to hers. At that moment I should have left, but I didn't…

What I didn't say & should have:

"Who are you to judge my appearance and judge the kind of person I am and the activities I participate in based on my chosen venue of art?

Who are you to decide what is in my best interest? I am more than willing to listen to your theories, opinions and suggestions, but how dare you assume that what I do in my personal life is destructive based only my appearance.

How dare you assume that I know absolutely nothing about my body and or health condition. Especially after I have related to you in Layman's terms exactly what I know through numerous months and even years of personal research as well as collaboration with medical professionals.

I am not five years old and I do not appreciate being treated as if I just announced that the moon is made of cheese for all to believe.

Furthermore, I will make decisions based on informed and researched documentation and medial research, not on your governmental bought degree of memorized exam answers.

{deep breath}

I requested a new doctor at a different office later that day.

5) Don't Grow Up (completely)

I have a friend who is playfully immature and wildly weird and she is approximately five years older than me and yet fifteen years younger than me. If you've ever hung out with her you would swear she's drunk, but the truth is she never drinks alcohol. She's crazy in a good way.

She has her career and ambitions and is just as responsible as she is wacky and life loving. I think that's why I enjoy being around her. She isn't afraid of being herself and doesn't care what other people think of her. In addition, she knows she's not perfect and often questions and asks for other people's opinions in specific topics of her personal life. She makes mistakes but doesn't allow those mistakes to prevent her from living life, being wacky and trying again.

I've been told on different occasions that I'm young at heart and positively immature. While I do take those as compliments, the world in general doesn't seem to understand that you can be both childish and be taken seriously. Women seem to be especially condemned when the title Free Spirited is attached to them. Curious, I researched what is attributed to the keywords 'Women' & 'Free Spirit'. The internet search engine results I received were mostly disappointing.

The most common blog, websites, opinion and or references attributed to 'Women' & 'Free Spirit' regarded women as shop-a-holics looking to purchase 'Free Spirit' theme items, sluts, liars, ugly women and or women who deteriorated men in some form.

I wasn't meaning to go into an off topic of disagreement about how wrong this stereo-type is; but to prove that being young at heart is still looked upon as some mythical spirituality that only the truly gifted are capable of obtaining. Do I really need to shout to the world that it isn't?

Don't put away childish things or activities… do them even more as adults. Don't go eating Play-Do or anything, but try new things

* Draw on the sidewalk in chalk

* Cover an old pair of shoes with silly drawings, glue stuff on them, paint them different colors and than wear them to the café for Sunday morning coffee and a bagel.

* Make a comic strip out of photographs that don't look so great in frames.

The point is, don't grow up too much and have some fun.

Extra helping of happiness

---> Annoying co-host Rosie is leaving The View in June

Kodak - Because they know it's grass! BOO ZHA!